Pray Tell

Hey God,
It's me...
I know this is unusual,
because we talk all day every day,
and I never have e-mailed you in the past,
but for some reason,
I feel like putting this on paper... no screen.
To remember,
and perhaps at some point to forget.
It's been a bad week, God.
So much sadness and suffering,
by those who have experienced it first
hand and by those who care enough to
cry miles away.
I am trying my best to help God,
donating, volunteering,
but I am not even a dent.
I care because I care,
and also because I relate.
A little over a year ago I had
my own home and everything
I own and care about
(save my beloved three pets,
this is what I escaped with,
my life and my pets,
which makes me FAR better off than those
who do not have their beloved pets and lost lives)
taken from me by an excellent con artist
and criminal,
that I thought was going to kill me,
who used abuse and lies
to overcome my lifetime of
hard work and charity.
So, yeah, a wave of hate took my home too.
One man made, but still.
And I have looters as well.
Silly girls who came into my home and took
my clothes and my things
my memories
and played with them
made their way with them
but most off all
believed the lies
of a petty thief
because their own insecurity
made them think that living in
my house and taking my things
made them feel like something.
I got to see the pictures of the looters
wearing my clothes, in my home
on the websites,
as the pictures on CNN get to show
people what their looters got of theirs.
I don't know if those looters were led to believe
they deserved to loot the victims,
but I know my looters were
fed sermon upon sermon
of lies,
complete lies
as to why they should inhabit my house
with a madman
and take and use my things.
They sing the chorus of a criminal,
which is all lies,
every verrse,
every chorus,
singing and
spreading themselves
and opening up
to be an accomplice to
the destruction of someone who has never hurt anyone
and who made a pact with God
years ago
only to HELP.

I too have been recently homeless,
in better circumstances
for over a year,
with none of my belongings
with the criminal dancing on my
sorrow,
thinking clever theivery is worth
applause,
and chicks,
and honor
not shame.
And the bored and the stupid say
OK.
Hey, at least someone is paying attention
to us, as strange as this is,
I'll help a criminal
I NEED TO FEEL WANTED.

I, God, need to feel that
what I pray for
and the things that I have spent my
life doing
will
eventually
in the end
stand true.
I don't
lie
cheat
steal
I
tell the truth
I am loyal as hell
and I give, give, give
It's my only nature.

So to those who have truly lost everything
this prayer is for them
and for the rest of us who are
trying to figure out how to make things better.
And although I have a policy to not ever pray for
myself,
only others,
I pray for me real quick,
to keep giving me the faith to carry on,
when I feel like I can 't,
And also for the silly
who may or not be criminals,
but have strong handedly
punched me
in the name of
the liar
the theif
the loser,
the criminal,
although,
they are probably
too scared
or stupid
to even realize
that it was them.

I pray every cot is softer tonight,
until we can get you out of it,
I pray every lover and loved one is found,
and if not,
love surrounds you somehow anyways.
I pray you find your photographs,
your pets,
your friends,
your favorite pillow,
you pajamas,
your table,
that special piece of fabric
that pan your mother gave you...
As I have had to search for all of these.

I lost everything
over a year ago
at the hand of a criminal.
Thankfully,
I still have my job,
and my pets,
and I understand how
grateful I should be.
Many are so much worse off.
But loss,
I understand.
Everyday,
I pray
for the strength to carry on.
And I will add everyone who has recently
lost everything to my prayers everyday.
I am displaced and confused as well,
and it ain't even close
to the way others feel right now.

Love to all.
Except the criminals and the
silly ones that abetted mine
and the silly looters who abetted yours.
That prayer will be for their souls,
as soon as I have the strength to forgive.