JOB

No,
not "job",
like the thing you do for a living,
JOB, like the book in the bible.
I carry a pink, leopard skin bible with me
in my bag, everywhere.
My ex-boyfriend used to make fun
of me for having so many bibles.
Please don't misjudge me and think I am
a "religious right" guy,
I think in terms of "religious wrong".
The church has often destroyed LOVE.
(GOD = LOVE, LOVE = GOD / A=A - SAME!, MISMO!)
Please don't use my God that I love and
believe in to promote murder, elitism,
exclusionary tactics, judgment and capitalism.
I believe in the teachings and life
of Christ, so I could NEVER be a republican.
Anyways,
I have had over a year of
circumstances in which I have been
persecuted unfairly beyond any sense
of even my imagination (biblical proportions)
I have had to question my faith in
people, God, the "justice" system,
everything...
as victims of crime often do.
I have been keeping the book of Job
very close to me lately.
I made a pact with God when
I was a child,
that I would use my life to help others,
and I have kept that promise, diligently.
However,
I have been stolen from, lied about and
unfairly accused in the way that
only Lifetime movies have portrayed,
but way worse.
I have been searching for a mantra,
just to get me through the
day to day to day to day to day to day.

I just watched a movie called
"The Power Of One",
which is a heavy tale about Apartheid.
Again, power was in the hands of
the evil, and the honest were preyed upon,
stolen from, accused and abused.

The holocaust.
Everything taken from good,
honest hard working
people while the killers and the theives
threw parties paid for on the
backs of their victims.

It's everywhere.
it has always happened.
In the big, big ways,
and in little lives life my own.

How does one keep their faith
if they have experienced
or even read about
incredible injustices?

I have refound the book of Job.
Remembered from my past memorization of the bible.
I wish harm to and have no anger towards anyone,
my anger has NOT been towards
my abuser and accuser (as many feel
it should be, but I pity him, lost)
but more with God,
the big "WHY?",
a question I have avoided since recent times,
as I have always been on great terms with God,
I have been a fucking worker bee,
and happily so.

JOB 4: (NCV version)
(edited for length)
"Think about the many people you have taught
and the weak hands you have made strong.
Your words have comforted those who fell,
and you have strengthened those
who could not stand.
But now trouble comes to you
and you are discouraged.
Trouble hits you,
and you are terrified.
You should have confidence
because you respect God,
you should have hope,
because you are innocent.
Remember that the innocent will not die,
honest people will never be destroyed.
I have noticed that people who plow evil,
harvest it.

Job 5:
Anger kills the fool,
and jealousy slays the stupid.
I have seen a fool succeed...
The hungry eat his harvest,
even taking what grew amongst the thorns,
and thirsty people want his wealth...
God does wonders that can not be understood...
He makes the humble person important,
and lifts the sad to places of safety.
HE RUINS THE PLANS OF THOSE WHO
TRICK OTHERS,
SO THEY HAVE NO SUCCESS,
HE CATCHES THE WISE IN THEIR OWN
CLEVER TRAPS,
AND SWEEPS AWAY THE PLANS OF THOSE WHO
TRY TO TRICK OTHERS.

So, make fun,
but I read the bible alot.
And it's good for me.
(and I curse worse than a sailor and I'm
a Liberal, so don't try to claim me for the religious wrong)
And I know that this AIN'T MY PLANET.
I know that because awful, parasitic, thieves
WIN all the time here.
Honest, helping, hard working people live
in turmoil and persecution ALL THE TIME.

You may hate it,
but I am a fucking Christian,
(according to the Hebrew,
that means Little Christ,
which means,
believing in the teachings of Christ)
and I am Heaven bound.

Theives may win here
on this planet,
and pat their criminal selves on the back,
for feeling powerful and clever.
But I know Love.
I know what I am about.
And it ain't about this stupid planet.
I'm just visiting...
reluctantly.

So enjoy the party,
And the guest list of pathetic liars,
because that event is the only one they are invited to,
those kind of hungry eat the harvest,
which grew amongst thorns
on the backs of injustice.
Rock on.
I pity you.
and, yeah...
occasionally I pray for you.
Maybe reluctantly.