HOLIDAZE

Wanna know what exotic places people go to
and the crazy things they do
for the holidays?

I have no idea,
don't look here.

Me?
Perhaps the most exotic:
Alabama.
Detroit.
Nashville.

And in between?
Oklahoma,
Arizona,
Kentucky.
Stopping at every truck stop
and diner in between.

Me and my boyfriend,
for the second time in like 6 months,
(we did it this summer as well)
opted to drive around the country,
with the pets,
and stay at motels
and in people's houses,
and eat at every diner
or gas station
that we found.

We drove from L.A. to rural Alabama,
to see my dad and family,
in two days
(I worked until 1 am the night we left,
so he drove nights,
I drove days).
The night we arrived,
my dad was teaching a bible study
at the little church in the woods
where I grew up visiting,
so we went.
I distinctly remember hunting easter eggs there
in the church yard
every easter when I was a kid..
One year I found the prize egg,
which was a panty hose egg with
five dollars in it.
I'm sure I hid it.
I used to hide money when I was little.
I would take my allowance (50 cents)
and my pet sitting money
and hide it.
One time I won $100 bill in a bingo
from a local supermarket when I was
like 9 years old.
I hid it in a ceiling fan and found it later,
when I was 17 years old,
and probably hid it somewhere else later
in my dorm room.

My grandfather, grandmother,
and my mom are all buried in the
little cemetery
next to the little church
in the woods.
When my grandfather died first,
every time we drove past the cemetery
in the woods,
on the way back to granny's house,
in the woods,
she would wave and yell out,
"Hey Ol' Bill!".
My grandpa's name was William Bell.
So Awesome.
Bill Bell.
It doesn't get much better than that.
So, every time my sister and I drive past,
to this day,
we roll down the window,
and wave,
and call out,
"Hey Ol' Bill!"
Even though they are all buried there now,
we do it as an homage to everybody.

Me and my boyfriend also went with my dad
to his meeting at his fire house
and made a video tour of it.
Over the summer,
we made a video tour of
my cousin Wayne's fire house
in East Tennessee.
(All the males in my family
are firefighters.
And ladies,
my cousin Wayne
is the CUTEST GUYIN THE WORLD
and funny as hell
and single).

We had a great time with my dad and his wife Diane
and my sister and her kids,
and a bunch of other people who stopped by
in the middle of the woods
in Alabama.
My boyfriend played endless
Nerf football with
my little nephew (5)
and my dad
(when my dad wasn't building stuff,
he's always building stuff,
he built the house,
this time it was a retaining wall).
Boyfriend and Dad would
deliver firewood to friends and family.
The girls,
my sister, Diane, my niece, and me
goofed around doing whatever,
(they all knit, and I watched, amazed)
mostly eating
southern cooking
and talking.

We then drove from Alabama to Detroit,
with a night spent in a little room
on the Kentucky/TN border.
I love rooms with hot tubs in the room.
This was probably meant for prom or something,
not for two weary travelers with pets,
but it was fun.
I'm not a big fan of public hot tubs,
it's a germ thing,
but I love the "in room" hot tub,
that is basically just a big tub
in the room
where you can see the T.V.
You fill it.
You drain it.
You watch T.V. and soak.
Done.

In Detroit,
my boyfriend's hometown,
we spent one night of bliss
with a group of his
childhood friends.
I don't have those.
My family moved every year.
My longest friend,
other than my sister,
is Kevin Lawson,
who I met when I was 20.
My boyfriend's friends are AWESOME
and they all love each other very much.
Unlike myself,
they have known each other
since they were in diapers.
(I have no idea what that would be like.
I luckily didn't wear diapers when I was 20).
We stayed up all night,
laughing, drinking and telling stories,
until like 5 A.M.

The other days and nights of bliss
were with his family.
Hanging with his mom and step dad
and dad,
his amazing, beautiful sister,
One aunt and uncle's house.
then another day at
another aunt and uncle's house
(This uncle is a Fire Chief as well)
with grandma and grandpa and all his
cousins and family.
Me and boyfriend delivered his mom's cookies
to homes of people
around the snow capped neighborhood,
and amazingly,
I found this really, really fun.

We headed back down south afterwards.
We stayed in Nashville,
visited my nephew's preschool,
did laundry
(which we begged off to do at EVERYONE'S house)
and hung out with my sister and
Kevin Lawson, my longest friend,
and his insanely adorable and kind
and understanding and funny
and smart and absolutely STUNNING
wife Malissa,
who I adore (obviously)
and I always tell Kevin
I don't know HOW he got her to marry him.

Me and my boyfriend and the pets
drove back west
with no intentions of haste.
I had been called back to work
earlier than expected,
and we left a good 4 days drive
for one we could have made in 2 1/2.

Had we not been so flexible,
I would not have had the ultimate pleasure
of hanging out with the
alarmingly beautiful Linda and friends
who work at the Waffle House outside
of Oklahoma City.

Here, at the Waffle House,
We also met an ATF agent
who had been the first to arrive
in the Oklahoma bombings
and now has a son who was sent to Iraq
two weeks before Christmas.
I told him,
"God Speed your son home to you".

We heard many stories about family members who had
recently been deployed to Iraq,
all around he country.
Husbands, fathers, sons, daughters...
we heard so many stories
on our journey
and I can't imagine
how painful that must be.
Heart Breaking.
God Speed them home to you.

We spent New Year's eve
at a Mexican restaurant
in Arizona called "Garcia's".
Really good food.
I ate too much
we played bar game trivia for hours
(an addiction)
and then walked back to the hotel
in a sudden hail storm
while talking on my cell
to my friends in L.A,
Clint and Matthew.

We had to leave earlier than expected.
I wanted to drive to LA,
The other L.A.,
Louisiana,
(although my dad calls the "Other L.A.",
"Lower Alabama").
I got called back to work early
and we didn't get to go see
people I wanted to see in Louisiana.
I hate that,
but if I don't show up at work,
i won't be able to afford to
go see them this summer.

We had perfect driving weather
the entire trip.
Down South,
In Michigan,
everywhere,
and everywhere in between,
but the last leg,
in L.A., California?
It was raining really hard.
The land of perfect weather,
and yet... ?
RAIN.
My boyfriend drove,
because I don't drive in the rain
and, hey, he's from Michigan.
He's fine.
I worked crossword puzzles
and played Sudoko in order to
avoid the fact that it was raining.

We got back to L.A.
Did laundry
and watched
video footage of a crazy night
with my friend Angus before we left.
We then watched
"The March Of The Penguins".
It's great,
I had been anxiously awaiting
to see it and got it on DVD in Michigan
(I don't go to movie theaters, long story).
We slept peacefully.
The pets are happy.
We're happy.
And tired.

We got our jackets stolen in Detroit.
But it's OK.
We're safe.
The van didn't break down
like it did six times in
our summer of driving all around the country.

But when the van did break down this summer,
by the way,
we met some pretty amazing
tow truck drivers
and mechanics,
and motel workers,
and people
(Lowell, Alice, Richard, etc.)
all around the country,
and it was a better trip
because of them.

And I have amazing,
Exotic
Stories to tell
About the woods in Alabama.

Last year,
on New Years Eve,
I stayed in, no parties,
and was ON MY KNEES
on the balcony,
of my temporary housing,
alone,
in my awful situation
praying to God
for the victims of the Tsunami.

I was devastated.
I still am.

I opted to stay
and pray.
For whatever it was worth.

My neighbors here must've thought I was nuts.
Probably still do.
Some weirdo chick on the balcony
outside
on her knees
audibly sobbing over the destruction
a million miles away.

I'm now praying for
all the rest of the victims as well,
closer.

Yeah,
we drove around this year
and delivered cookies
and firewood,
and it was good.
Good people.
Good times.

But again,
One year later,
not forgetting to remember,
all that was lost,
all that hurt,
all our brothers and sisters
everywhere
all who lost
everything.
every time.

God Speed.
Everything.
Everything Good.
To everybody.
Please.