ADULT MOVIE

(note: this is an old entry from my old blog.
I would like to publish all the old ones,
but don't know how,
so when there's one I keep thinking about,
like this one,
I'll try and post it)


ADULT MOVIE

Last night I had a box of fig newtons,
some peanut M&Ms and a beer for dinner.
Why?
Because I can.
Because I'm an adult.
I can put my dogs on the furniture,
wear dirty socks,
slide down the stairs,
sleep all day,
play loud music,
wear anything,
put my feet on the table,
dye my hair any color,
stay up all night,
write stuff on my arm,
read or watch what ever I want,
drive myself around,
not take a bath...
That rules!

I hate ads
that are always pushing the notion
that it's so awful to grow up.
That's just to sell stuff
like wrinkle cream and dumb sports cars.
I wouldn't be a teenager again
if there was a pill and it was free.
Yuck, yuck, yuck.

But they have to make you fear something
so you'll be inspired to buy stuff.
So why not make you
fear something that's inevitable?
Every year, if you survive, you're gonna get older.
Make it scary,
make it sad,
make people buy into becoming anti-aging warriors
at a hefty price.
They aren't going to sell much
if they remind you about the curfews,
awkwardness,
fear and disempowerment
that comes along with being young.

It's a beautiful, sunny day outside.
And to celebrate,
I'm going to crawl in bed with my cat
while the radio is blasting
in dirty socks for the rest of the day,
then stay up late,
and I might make pancakes at midnight
with extra butter and syrup
and drink a beer.
Why?
Because I can,
Becuase I Am An Adult.